More notes from the Middle Kingdom

I was standing infront of mount Taishan and I did not recognise it.

I realise this is my first post of the year. Happy New Year, folks.

Sitting in a Chinese restaurant all by myself, it felt a bit lonesome. All I knew then was how to order three dishes, all to do with tomato and eggs. One for lunch and another for dinner. I had to eat, didn’t I? That went for about a six months. Great progress that I didn’t make! Sometimes I would just point to an item in the menu, all written in hanzi, but it’s not a great idea. Believe me.

Sitting there by myself, I suddenly felt like a character in a Chinese Kungfu movie, a classic movie of legends of great power and ability. I wasn’t thinking of myself as the hero but I was simply thinking about some scenes that made me think they drink endless cups of wine (remember movies like drunken master?) As it turned out sometimes they do drink wine, but most of the time they drink tea in restaurants, green tea at that. And in China anything to do with drink could be tea, even water is called bai cha ‘white tea’. The way I understand it most of their green tea are herbs, boiled in water, and every one of them is supposed to be good for different parts of the body. Interesting stuffs.

Invited to a wedding, I once felt sorry for a newlywed couple who must toast every guest with a cup of Chinese white wine – a strong wine which they claim would make a mouse so brave that he would shout ‘where is the cat?’ with machette in hand and all. I didn’t realise then that one of the two bottles was filled with water. Ignorant me!

Reading Sydney Shapiro’s translation of Outlaws of the Marsh is truly interesting. It’s one of the four famous classic novels, a must read for Chinese students, and I am thoroughly enjoying it. It comes in three volumes and each chapter ends with a little ‘curtain raiser’ to the next chapter and it’s really a hard-to-put-down novel. Lot’s of fights and flights as more than a hundred innocent and unwitting people were forced to break the law and were welcomed into a fraternity of bravemen called outlaws of the Liangshan Marsh. And as they often say the ‘book is much better than the movie’ not that I have seen the movie. But it’s a great read. Sample this: ‘I was standing infront of mount Taishan and I did not recognise it.’ Classic Chinese modesty of a humble hero and an appropriate appraisal from one who realises he’s in the presence of a great man.

There are laments everywhere about the Chinese football team. That’s one of the things we share (you notice how I don’t want to quantify the things we share. I have no particular reason for that by the way). A nation of more than a billion people failing to produce the eleven to challenge the world. We share the same sobering plight but it remains to be seen when anyone’s going to really wake up and do some serious thing about it. A friend had suggested a lack of protein in the Indian diet as a possible cause of our non-performance in sports, but I am not so sure about that.

The Chinese national football team had been the butt of many jokes. I will leave you with one of my favourites:

A Japanese man asks god “when will Japan be the champions of the world in footbal” and god said “in fifty years.” He went away very sad, thinking, “I will not be able to see that happen in my own lifetime.” Next comes a Korean and asks god when the Koreans would be the champions of the world then god replied, “in one hundred years.” The Korean cried and thought, “My grandchildren would not be able to see that happen in their lifetime.” Then comes a Chinese man and asks god when the Chinese would be the champions of the world, then god cried, saying, “I would not be able to see it in my lifetime!”